Entangled Heart Read online

  “What do you mean you think you’re handling it? What’s going on?” The outrage mixed with concern was classic Maddie, and I smiled even though she couldn’t see me, maybe because she couldn’t see me.

  “Who said anything’s going on? Maybe I’m trying to check the giant ego you accused me of having?”

  “Oh, that’s bullshit. That ego is as much a part of you as those gray eyes and that annoying sense of right and wrong. Spill it, Jamie.”

  I groaned and dropped my face into one hand. “I don’t know who the hell this Jamie character is, so I can’t help you Maddie.”

  She let out a frustrated growl. “Are you failing your shooting class? Does the gun have too much kickback or whatever for you?”

  “No.” I looked at the phone, brows dipped in confusion. I grew up on a shooting range. Guns were nothing new to me.

  “Okay. Is the crime scene stuff tripping you up? If so, I can help. I watch so much true crime that I’m basically like a cop.”

  “You mean I could have skipped the academy by watching TV?” I laughed into my phone. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

  “You joke,” she said, totally unaffected by my sarcasm. “But I’m serious. Sometimes all you need are fresh eyes.”

  “Maddie, you are not a cop.”

  “Duh and thank fuck for that, no offense. Where are you struggling?”

  “That’s the weird part, I’m not.” Admitting that made me feel like a dick—no, like an arrogant fucking prick. “I’m confident that I’m at the top of the class so far, and I have no plans to let that change anytime soon.”

  “Ah, there he is!” She laughed to herself for a full minute. “Okay, big man on campus, tell me this; why do you want to be a cop anyway?”

  How many times would I have to answer that question before I graduated from the Academy? “You really want to know?”

  “I do, unless you have some prepared beauty pageant answer, then I don’t give a damn.”

  I drew a painful breath before I dug into the story. “I had a friend, Luke Cassidy, back when I was a kid. We were hanging out at The Hot Plate. Best fried chicken in Nevada. Anyway, we were sitting outside eating this chicken, talking and laughing and a car whizzed by shooting at something. We got caught up in it and Luke took a bullet straight to his neck, he was dead before he fell over. No one was ever arrested for it. Ever.” That shit still pissed me off when I thought about it, which I did, often.

  “Damn, you didn’t get shot or anything?”

  “Nope. Just Luke.”

  “And no suspects at all?”

  “Nope. Not even to this day. It was a beef between gangbangers, but none of them would give up the gunman. Collateral damage, they called it.” Collateral fucking damage, as if that made it better that a kid had died for nothing.

  “Wow. That’s horrible. I’m so sorry you had to live through that.”

  “Thanks,” I sighed, feeling the anger bubble up inside of me until I wanted to burst.

  “So you’re doing this for a noble reason,” she said with a sigh.

  “Why do you sound disappointed by that?” Did she think I was doing this to become a dirty cop? An inside man for my brother?

  “Because.” Maddie’s long pause made me nervous, but I didn’t realize it until that moment. “Because I don’t want to see you disappointed. You know, you can always do your best and still won’t always get the right outcome. Get justice.”

  “I know, and the idea of that fucking makes my stomach churn, but what’s the alternative?”

  “Be someone other than the good guy you are?” She let out a bubble of laughter, and I could see her in my mind, covering her eyes in that slightly embarrassed way she did sometimes. “Impossible, I know. But it’s the best I got for you, dude.”

  “I’m not that good,” I grumbled at her. “Not always.”

  She barked out a laugh so loud I had to pull the phone away from my ear. “You are. I’ve known lots of scumbags, so you can take my word for it. But I have another question that you totally don’t have to answer if you feel uncomfortable.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Are you sure none of this, not even a teeny tiny piece, has to do with your family operating on both sides of the law?”

  “Don’t hold back, Madds, seriously.” The woman had no filter, and I found that I didn’t mind as much as I thought I might.

  “Well, I find that being honest with yourself makes it really hard for other people to make you feel bad. I’m never surprised and rarely offended.”

  She made a good point. “A little, but not how you might think. I’ve seen the damage we caused, and sometimes, no matter how much money you throw at a problem, it doesn’t undo the trauma or that churning sense of injustice that never goes away.”

  A long silence followed my little speech, and I felt like a dick, the same idealistic little prick my criminal procedure instructor had accused me of being.

  “Wow,” she said finally. “You’ve given it a lot of thought, Jamie, and I think any uncertainty you feel is just nerves. And homesickness.”

  I smiled. “And that’s your official diagnosis?”

  “Yeah, it is. So buck up, Buttercup, you’re gonna be fine.”

  “Thanks, Maddie.” I wasn’t sure why she had so much confidence in me, but it made me feel good that she did.

  “Anytime. Now I’ve got to get going. The lines should start ringing any minute now. Later!” A reminder that Maddie worked for a living, handling the phones for Ashby’s escort services. And she was, unfortunately, beholden to them for giving her a job.

  Next day, a box of donuts arrived in the mail. All my favorites. I sent her a quick message of thanks.

  Jameson: You didn’t have to send these, but my stomach is grateful that you did.

  Madison: Excellent. Think of me when you’re running off the extra pounds Donut Boy.

  I laughed out loud at yet another nickname. The woman seemed to have a knack for creating them.

  Jameson: When my six-pack turns into an eight pack, I’ll be sure to name them Madison and Rae.

  Madison: How do you know my middle name?

  Jameson: I run background checks on every woman privileged enough to share my bed.

  The phone rang within seconds of that message, so I smiled and answered on the first ring. “Calling to deny it?”

  Instead of answering she let out a loud, snorting laugh that would have been obnoxious coming from anyone else, but from her I could only join in. “Wasn’t much of a privilege, though, was it?”

  Ouch. I didn’t get the feeling that Maddie actually wanted to sleep with me. I clearly hit a nerve by turning her down after the wedding reception. “Maddie,” I began, and she spoke over me.

  “It was just so…forgettable. I’ll be sure to spread the word next time someone asks how you are in the sack. Jameson is utterly forgettable. I don’t even remember our night together.”

  “You remember winning five hundred bucks, don’t you?”

  “That cowboy said it was beginner’s luck!”

  I laughed at her quick answer, the same one she’d given two times before rather than give me credit for helping her win. “And my skills had nothing to do with that?”

  “No way. Craps requires zero skills, Jameson. Remember those words, huh?”

  “Damn, woman, you got a memory like an elephant.” Did she forget anything?

  “Thanks. It’s one of my best features, but let’s keep it between us, yeah?”

  “Uh, sure.”

  “Great. Ava Rose is about two seconds away from a fit so I have to go. Enjoy the donuts. I sent you enough to spread the wealth, remember that.”

  I stared at the phone for a second and laughed. “Trying to help me make friends, Maddie?”

  “No,” she said on an annoyed sigh. “It’s called sabotage, Jamie. Let them gorge on donuts and then you can beat them at PT. Every little bit helps, or some recruit keeps telling me. Later gator!” And then she was gone, just
like the whirlwind she was.

  Somehow, over the course of my time at the Police Academy, Madison had become not just my closest friend, but also my confidante. She was a good listener and asked great questions, and not just for the sake of filling the silence. She seemed to give a damn, and I still hadn’t figured out what I’d done to deserve a friend like her, but I planned to savor it and treat it like it was precious to me.

  As soon as I graduated the Academy, at the top of my class.

  “Yo, Ellison! You gonna daydream about that mystery girl or you ready for PT?” Mark Robbins, my suitemate and friend stood in the doorway with his arms folded and a knowing smile stretched across his face.

  Shit. I glanced at my watch and realized I had just fifteen minutes to change and get down to the field. “Two minutes. I’ll be ready in two minutes. Have a donut while you wait.” I smiled at the way he quickly made his way to the box, knowing Maddie would get a kick out of me sharing.

  “Mystery girl?”

  “Not a mystery,” I reminded him and stepped inside the bathroom to change into our required physical training uniform. “She’s a friend. Nothing else.” Madison wasn’t the only one who constantly thought about that night, or the consequences of my rejection, which was at first an uncomfortable boner and then a damn fun night.

  “I have friends and they don’t send me donuts. Or candy. Or my favorite burger. Hell, I’m not sure even my own mother knows how I like my burgers.”

  “Maybe you need better friends.”

  Mark laughed. “Maybe you ought to lock down that friend before someone else does.”

  “Now you sound like my ma.” She was determined that Madison was exactly the kind of girl I needed, despite her connection to the Ashby family, and she refused to hear any talk of the platonic nature of our friendship.

  “Then don’t tell her about all these friendly little care packages she’s been sending. Regularly.”

  “I won’t and neither will you.”

  Mark laughed. “I got more important things on my mind, like beating your two-mile run time.”

  “Keep dreaming, Robbins. Now are you done gossiping so we can go?”

  He glared at me and then flipped me the bird. “Dick.”

  “Can’t compete there either, but no one needs to know that.” I gave him a shove and took off running. “Last one to formation buys dinner tonight.”

  “Dick,” he grunted after me and that was the last thing I heard before I cranked up the speed and ran like hell.

  Chapter Three

  Madison – Present Day

  I shouldn’t have been so nervous about dinner tonight with Jameson, but I was. I hadn’t laid eyes on the man in over six months, but without Molly around, he was my closest friend and confidante. We’d talked or texted almost every single day since his first week at the academy and told me all about his desires to be a good cop. A useful cop. It’d be a miracle if he could become that, then again, if anyone could, it was Jameson Ellison.

  “You gonna stand on the doorstep all night or did you actually plan to ring the bell and come inside?” Jameson’s deep voice startled me, and I whirled around with fire in my eyes.

  “You scared the shit out of me, man!” I pushed at his chest, and he grabbed my wrist as if I had the strength to move his massive form. “Don’t do that.”

  “Sorry,” he said, not sounding even a little bit sorry. “I gave you a few minutes to gather your thoughts or whatever the hell you were doing out here, but Ma was starting to worry you might bolt.”

  Bolt. Like I was a coward or something. I hiked my chin up high in the air and folded my arms. “I was just thinking how weird it would be to see you after all this time.”

  “And is it weird?”

  Yes. “No. You’re a lot less dressed up than the last time I saw you, but everything else is the same.” He was still big as an ox with wide shoulders and a broad chest, intimidating in height and muscle mass. Hell, he’d be an outright monster if he weren’t so damn good looking. “Except, did you gain a few pounds at police school?”

  His lips twitched, and a moment later, a full bark of laughter escaped. It was loud and full-throated, and contagious as hell. “Yeah, more pounds of muscle.” He flexed his giant biceps and wiggled his brows. “Wanna feel?”

  I knew he was teasing me, so I stepped in close and gave his bicep a squeeze. “Impressive. Did you lose any brain cells in return?”

  “Ha! You wish. Second in my class, which you’d know if you’d have come to my graduation.”

  I looked away, still feeling guilty I’d turned down his invitation. But I didn’t feel right with all his family there. I’d feel like a third wheel. “Graduation is for family, Jameson.”

  “It’s for who I say it is, Madison.”

  “Well, congrats anyway.”

  Jamie put his big hands on my shoulders, warming me down to my toes, and turned me toward the door. “Ma’s not gonna let you out of dinner, so let’s go inside. She made all my favorites.”

  “Brat,” I said laughing.

  His mom, Jana, was so different than my own mother who would rather get drunk than sit down and have dinner. She went all out for family dinners and other occasions, making sure her boys knew they were loved and supported. Even his father, Max, was an ideal father, especially for a biker, unlike my own dad who could never hold down a job. Even on the rare occasions, when he managed to, he gambled away his paychecks before he even made it home on payday. And that was if he bothered to show up at all. “All right, let’s do this.”

  “Come on. It won’t be that bad,” he whispered in my ear, and I pushed down the instinctive shiver with as much might as I could. We were friends. Just friends.

  “I know.” At least that was what I told myself, following him into the house. After a warm and welcoming hug from Jana and a nod of recognition from Jameson’s father, I felt way more comfortable. From the kitchen, I heard the front door open and close, and not two seconds later, Charlie’s lean frame filled the doorway, half of it anyway. The other half was made up of Savannah-fucking-Rhymer.

  “Charlie!” Jana wrapped him in a hug, and he accepted it with an affectionate grin that surprised me.

  “Savannah,” she said next, standing back and examining the woman with a friendly smile. I waited for the fireworks to begin. Once again, I was sadly disappointed. “You look lovely, dear,” Jana said. “Much better than when I last saw you.”

  “Thanks in part to you,” Savannah said and accepted a maternal hug. It was strange, seeing the boogeyman up close and personal, holding hands with Jameson’s brother, tall, thin, and beautiful as well. Exactly what I expected the devil to look like.

  “God help us all.” I muttered under my breath. Her presence shocked me, and I shook my head, unable to believe I’d have to sit down and share a meal with this bitch. I rolled my eyes and accepted a hug from Jana.

  “Uhm, what’s going on?” Charlie practically growled the question, which left me clear on what he thought of me dating his brother.

  I turned and shrugged, my gaze narrow and challenging. “What? We’re friends. You got a problem with that?”

  “Yeah. No. I mean, maybe.” He didn’t get a chance to say more because Jana clapped her hands and all eyes turned to her.

  “Everyone grab a platter or a bowl and take it to the table outside, and do it quickly, please.”

  “Excuse me,” I said. “Where’s the restroom?”

  Jamie pointed to a door about ten feet away right down the hall “Right there, Madds. Meet you out back, yeah?”

  “Sure.” I darted out of the kitchen and headed straight to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face and get my shit together after the shock of seeing Savannah. This woman was evil personified, sure, but maybe I could use this family dinner to my advantage, to find out something about Molly’s whereabouts. I can do this. I have to. I looked at my reflection in the huge mirror in the bathroom and nodded my approval at my appearance. This might be my
chance to get real answers.

  A knock sounded on the door. “Madds, everything all right in there?” I opened the door and Jameson’s gray eyes scanned my face, looking for any traces of discomfort or fear, or something.

  “It’s fine. I’m fine, well I will be. No worries.” I flashed a smile that I hoped showed that I was fine, not bothered—much—by the presence of Savannah Rhymer at the dinner table. “I just didn’t expect that girl to be here.”

  “You okay? I mean, we can go if you want.”

  “No, no, no. Your mom made a shit ton of food, and we’re gonna eat it.” I said. “Let’s get out there.”

  The highlight of dinner was the food, definitely the food. Jana had made Charlie’s favorite foods, which were fried chicken and mashed potatoes, and Jameson’s favorite barbecued meats, plus she’d added lasagna because it turned out it was that bitch’s favorite. I ate everything except the lasagna and did my best to enjoy the familiar atmosphere under the Nevada sky. It was nice, a dinner unlike any I had ever attended. Even the Ashby Sunday dinners were mostly filled with talk of business. Here, everyone laughed and talked about family and acted interested in each other. Who did that?

  Jana brushed off my offer of help and Savannah’s too, which made me feel better but only a little. “I’ll just poke my nose in Savannah and Charlie’s business,” Jana said laughing, “since you and Jameson are staying in the friend zone.” With a knowing smile she plunged her hands into soapy water and hummed to herself.

  “We are just friends,” I insisted and made a quick getaway, finding Jameson and his father in the living room, eyes glued to the TV. “What’s going on?” I asked when I saw their worried faces.

  “Don’t know yet,” Jameson said and nodded at the TV. “Something’s happened at a hotel in Glitz, something big if the police presence is anything to go by.”

  I took a seat beside Jameson and watched the blue and red flashing lights of nearly a dozen patrol cars parked in front of the ornate hotel. Two unmarked cars showed up and then a van with Medical Examiner emblazoned on the side. Whatever happened wasn’t just big, it was bad too. And when the newscaster stepped in front of the camera and nodded his readiness to begin his report, I held my breath waiting for the news.