Beautifully Broken Read online

  I stood and stared at her for a long time, taking in her defensive posture as she began to squirm. I grinned. “Is that supposed to scare me?” I let out a laugh that wasn’t amused at all as I lifted my shirt and tilted to the left. “A fucking kid snuck up on me in my nest and shoved it straight through my gut, and this ain’t the worst of it.” I let the shirt drop and crossed my arms, noting the way her gaze tracked over my arms and hands. “I’m sure what happened to you was fucking awful, but a tiny little scar doesn’t scare me. Now, can we go eat or do you need to see another scar?”

  She stared at me for a long time and I thought she’d smack me or tell me to fuck off. But she didn’t, and soon I found myself exploring her ripe feminine curves. The jeans she wore did very good things for her hips and shapely thighs, even if she did try and hide what looked like a spectacular rack underneath an oversized t-shirt. Finally, she spoke. “Are there many more scars?”

  I blinked until my brows dipped low. “What?”

  “The scars, I’m curious how many you have.” She didn’t wear a smile that said she was flirting or kidding, she looked serious.

  “Too many to count. Why, you interested?”

  She shrugged and my cock sprang to life. “Between the muscles and the tattoos, I think I might like to get you down on paper, so I’m curious if you have more texture than just muscles and ink.”

  I grinned at her words. She was quiet, but not shy at all. “You can even have me on sheets. Or carpet, or sofa cushions.” I laughed when she rolled her eyes and a smile curled her plump lips.

  “You like Greek food?”

  I shrugged. “Don’t know. Never had it.”

  “Lamb and potatoes? Yogurt and lemon?” I didn’t really give a damn as long as we could sit and talk. I wanted to get to know Jana. “You’re staring.”

  “Sorry, it’s just-,”

  “It’s hard not to look at?”

  What? “You’re nuts. No, I’m just glad you weren’t hiding a black eye under all that damn hair.” That sounded a bit grumpier than I wanted it to, but she just grinned. “I might like Greek. Want to get on my bike?”

  “No thanks. I like my brains in my head. You can follow me. I’m the green Subaru over there.”

  “You’re not what I thought you’d be,” I told her as I fell in step beside her. Okay, a little behind her because damn that heart-shaped ass was the kind that made men lose their minds.

  “How did you think I’d be?”

  There was landmine if I ever encountered one, and a smarter man would dodge. “I thought you were shy until a few minutes ago, but I like this sassy, smart ass version of you.”

  She stopped at her car, shoving the key in and tossing her bag on the passenger seat. “I am shy. Unless strange men sneak up on me and invade my personal space.”

  I grinned again and held her door open for her. “Noted. I’m a few blocks up that way.”

  “Get in, I’ll take you.”

  “You will?”

  “I will,” she nodded. “Unless you prefer that I drive slowly alongside you like a creeper.”

  I laughed and scratched my chin. “I don’t know, I’ve never had a stalker before.”

  “It’s not all its cracked up to be,” she mumbled and put the car in drive as soon as my ass hit the seat. I realized that must be a sensitive topic and now that I saw the scar, I had a new batch of questions for the intriguing girl with the sinful curves.

  Chapter 4

  Jana

  “How about the number one, five and nine to start?” I knew Max was unfamiliar with Greek food but I assumed based on his tattoos and his motorcycle that he was a bit of a risk taker.

  But he looked at the menu with a deep frown on his face. “Octopus tail?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Don’t tell me such a tough guy is afraid of a little octopus?” At his affronted look I laughed even more. “I’m ordering it because I love it, but I think you should taste it.”

  He stared at me for a long time and I found myself turning away so my scar was less visible, but his gaze didn’t waver because he was focused on my mouth. “Okay.”

  And that was it. Just okay. “Why are you taking art classes, Max?” He seemed to have some artistic skill but his discomfort last week had been apparent.

  He sighed and the look in his gray eyes darkened to a gunmetal color as his entire demeanor changed. A big hand slid through short black hair and he leaned back. “Can I get away with saying that I like art?”

  “Sure. Your secrets are your own. Do you draw at home?”

  “Not for a while, no. Maybe I should. How about you, why do you take the class?”

  “It gets me out of my house and I get a chance to improve my skill with Moon’s help.” I started taking the art classes about six months ago as I started to experiment beyond drawing and painting.

  “So are you some kind of artist?”

  I shook my head even though the more I looked at him, the more my fingers itched to draw him. Paint him. Put him down on paper for future civilizations to discover. “Nope, it’s strictly a hobby.”

  The waiter stopped and flashed me a grin as he set down our starters and drinks. “Maybe it shouldn’t be. You’re damn good Jana.”

  I felt my skin heat up from his compliment. “Thanks.” Other than Teddy and my satisfied clients, I didn’t hear many compliments and I was all right with that. I didn’t need accolades for my looks or my work, but it was nice to hear once in a while. “You’re not bad either, but you’d be better if you believed in yourself. As trite as that sounds.”

  His deep laugh sounded in the near empty restaurant and it was rich and multi-layered. It was a bit rusty, paying truth to his words last week that he hadn’t laughed in a while. “When I first got out of the service I…struggled. I couldn’t sleep most nights so I would go out and paint, wherever I was. The desert, the forest, lakes and rivers, oceans and everything in between.”

  “So you don’t have much practice painting anything else?” He nodded and I felt an answering grin tug on my lips. “I know how that is. I first started painting and sketching. Self-portraits. You wouldn’t believe how quickly I got over them.”

  His grin deepened and I swallowed. Hard. Max was too much man, far too big and muscular, and he had that rugged handsome thing going on that definitely spelled danger to a woman like me. Guys like him didn’t go for girls like me. They’d pretended in college to get my help with papers and homework, only to drop the pretense immediately after. And after college when I worked at a large accounting firm, a few guys had tried to get me to do their reports with the vague promise of a date in the future. I learned my lesson quickly and stayed far away from men. All men. “I can only imagine.”

  “What branch of the military did you serve?”

  Again, his gray eyes took on that cold, haunted look. “Navy. I was a SEAL.” He braced himself and I knew what he was waiting for because I’d seen the way women got all giddy with stars in their eyes at Navy SEALs, and I can only imagine how crazy they went over a guy like Max.

  “Thank you for your service. Before…everything, did you feel fulfilled by it?”

  He blinked and thought about it as I sliced the octopus, offering him a few pieces along with the garlic and herb butter. “I never thought about it like that, but yeah, I was. Shit, maybe that’s why it’s all been so hard.” He stabbed the slice of meat with more force than necessary and slid it off the fork into his mouth. “Fuck me, that’s a tender piece of meat. And this is octopus?”

  “It is,” I told him and sliced a few pieces for myself and pushing the plate to the middle of the table. “Why did you retire?” He frowned and I held up a hand. “I meant, isn’t it common for hardcore guys like you to teach and pass on the knowledge?”

  Max nodded and my gaze was riveted to his steely gray eyes. They should’ve been intimidating with that thousand yard stare, but they were compelling. Too damn compelling. “Yeah, but it wasn’t a right fit for me.”


  My heart went out to Max because of all the women he could have possibly met, I knew exactly what he was going through. “It takes time.” We fell silent and finished the starters before we both decided to order a beer. “Where are you from, Max?”

  “Brooklyn, originally but I haven’t lived there since I was eighteen.” He chuckled good naturedly. “A lifetime ago. What about you?”

  I shrugged. “Detroit, I think.” It had been a long time since someone showed an interest in my life and I was a bit rusty. “I went into the foster care system in Michigan when I was six so it’s a bit fuzzy before that, but I bounced around plenty of Detroit foster homes, so let’s go with that. Siblings?”

  He grinned and holy shit, his face was transformed from a ruggedly handsome warrior to a boyishly charming man far too good looking for my peace of mind. “I have a brother and we were close. It was just me and him and our mom, at least until I went to the Navy. He went Army as soon as he was old enough, but Tate didn’t make a career of it.”

  I swallowed. “Did he die?” I couldn’t take it if a man like him, who had sacrificed for our country, had experienced that kind of loss. It didn’t seem fair or right, two things I knew life didn’t guarantee.

  “No.”

  “Oh. Good.” He didn’t want to talk about it so I dropped it. Teddy often said I had a bad habit of interrogating people.

  “Sorry, it’s just. My brother is going through some shit right now and I want to help but he’s shutting me out.” He blew out a long breath and fell against the seat.

  “You can’t take it personally, Max.”

  “He’s my damn brother! My only family.”

  “He’s lucky to have you, but sometimes shit is so hard, so painful that the only thing you can do is curl into yourself and handle it the best way you know how.” The brothers had no idea how lucky they were to have each other, but telling Max that wouldn’t help. “So what do you do now?”

  “Depends on what the club needs. I got a business degree while I was in the military so mostly I take care of the business end of club business.”

  He’d said that world, club, a few times since we sat down and I understood. “Motorcycle club?”

  Tension curled through the hard muscles of his shoulders and arms. Everything about him was so tense suddenly, like he was worried I’d judge him. “Yep.”

  He didn’t need to worry because I didn’t judge. Ever. “Like an outlaw biker club with one percenters? Or are you a bunch of nine to fivers who ride as weekend warriors?” I’d recently binge watched Sons of Anarchy and I had thirst for all things biker related.

  He laughed. “We’re not outlaws but we’re not nine to fivers. Our businesses are legal but we’re like a brotherhood. They helped keep me and the public safe when I first landed here looking for Tate.”

  “That’s nice of them. Do you all have to ride Harley’s? Oh, are all of you white or former military?”

  He grinned. “You ask a lot of questions, you know that?”

  “I don’t get out a lot and I rarely meet anyone with so much life experience. I’m curious.” I couldn’t stop staring at him any more than I could resist the urge to turn so only the left side of my face was visible. His facial features were strong, a sharp, jagged jawline and a nose that looked like it had been broken a few times only made him look more well lived. Miles of skin showed that he’d lived a full life that included scars, tattoos, too much sun, all signs he hadn’t wasted the life he was given. Max was way out of my league, but I liked talking to him. “You can tell me it’s none of my business, I won’t be offended.”

  “We don’t have stupid ass rules about race. Most of us have served in the military at some point and that brotherhood means a hell of a lot more than the color of our skin.”

  “Do you have any members who can’t ride motorcycles?”

  He grinned. “A few old timers who mostly sit around the clubhouse and take care of our business interests.”

  “Wow. You are an interesting man, Max.”

  “Ellison. Max Ellison.”

  I smiled. “Jana Carter. Nice to meet you. Officially.” He smiled and my heart sped up, pounding so hard I thought it might crack a rib just to get out. “You’re not going to ask about my face?” Most people, especially kids, old people and men, wanted to know right up front.

  “I’m curious but I figured if you wanted me to know, you’d tell me.”

  Damn. “I appreciate that, but it’s always the elephant in the room. The short version is that my foster dad did it to me.”

  His jaw clenched in anger and this time his gaze did linger on the scar and I felt my stomach flip with nausea. I hated that fucking scar, so red and painful and ugly. “It’s not as noticeable as you think, but please tell me the prick is in prison.”

  “He is. For now.” I didn’t know how to feel about someone being so upset on my behalf. Even when it happened, no one gave a damn. Not the police or social services, and certainly not the one woman I thought actually loved me.

  “Good. Now tell me Jana Carter, what do you do for fun?”

  I laughed at his unexpected topic change. “I cook, watch documentaries on just about everything and I paint. Occasionally my friend Teddy forces me out into the world.” My smile dimmed as I thought about Todd and Greg. “But I prefer to stay home.”

  A flash of something, sympathy or commiseration maybe, showed in his gray eyes but it disappeared so fast I figured it was wishful thinking. “Good to know. Can I call you sometime, Jana?”

  Yes. “Why?”

  He frowned. “What kind of question is that?”

  I didn’t want to get into this after we had such a nice meal, but I found it was better to get this part out of the way sooner rather than later. Not that I’d even been this far with a man since sophomore year of college when I learned a lesson I never forgot. “It’s a perfectly valid one. Look at me Max, guys like you don’t want to spend time with me or hang out with me unless you need something. I work for myself so unless you need accounting help, that’s not it. Teddy,” I said as realization dawned. “You want me to introduce you to her?” It wouldn’t be the first time. Or the last.

  “Who the fuck is Teddy and why would I want to meet her when you’re right here?”

  “I uh, I’m not…shit.” I finger combed my hair down so it covered the right side of my face. “I don’t know how to answer that.”

  He frowned but slowly, it turned into a smile. “Jana, you intrigue me. You’re beautiful even though you can’t see it, and your body is hot as shit. I’d like to get to know you better, spend some time with you. Is that so hard to believe?”

  “It is,” I told him honestly. “But I’ve had a good time today talking with you.” I handed him my phone and he did the same. “Please don’t make me regret it.”

  Max paid the bill and walked me to my car as the sun began her journey to the other side of the world. “I had a good time today, Jana. Thank you.” He leaned forward and I froze. Was he going to kiss me? I hadn’t been kissed since sophomore year and I was completely unprepared. Were my lips chapped? Did I have octopus breath?

  I had no reason to worry though, his surprisingly soft lips landed on my cheek, a breath away from the corner of my mouth. “Max,” I whispered.

  “I’ll talk to you soon, Jana.”

  Why that gave me shivers, I couldn’t say.

  ***

  Tonight’s class featured a nude model. A nude male model, but for the sake of propriety a colorful scarf had been draped over his hips to cover the man meat. Thank goodness because tonight, Max and I were joined by eight women in their forties pretending to be a book club.

  “Oh Moon, you spoil us sweetheart!” I kept quiet and kept my gaze on my station, prepping my palette and canvas. Max had yet to arrive but class didn’t start for another seven minutes. Not that I was worried. I wasn’t. Late lunch with him had been nice on Wednesday but I hadn’t heard from him so I decided not to worry about it. Or think ab
out. I never had a man in my life, so I couldn’t really miss what I didn’t have.

  Moon gave a kind smile. “You ladies just got lucky tonight. Don’t mind them, Kyle.”

  Kyle wore a faint shade of pink all over, but he flashed a dimpled smile at the ladies and sent them into a fit of giggles more appropriate for a fifth grade slumber party. I rolled my eyes and kept my gaze averted. I learned not long after leaving the hospital with my scars, that eye contact made people want to interact. Ask questions.

  Fuck that.

  “Oh, hello handsome. You are just what mama needs.” I knew before looking up that Max had arrived. Not only because of the catcalling women, but because the air changed. It was electrified and thick.

  I was too damn aware of him and in protest, I refused to look his way. Not until he took the seat beside me, the air from his movement blowing tendrils of my hair. "Hey Jana.” Even his voice had a smile in it.

  “Hey.”

  “How’s it going?”

  “It’s going. You?” There was no reason to hold a grudge because he didn’t call. I didn’t really think he would, even if a tiny sliver of me wished for it.

  “All right,” he said but his words were heavy. Anxious.

  “You sure about that?” I swiveled in my chair and looked at him. I really looked at him and he was tense all over.

  “Not even a little bit, Jana.”

  I gave him a sympathetic smile and patted his shoulder. “Want to get lost in some painting?”

  He looked to Kyle’s nearly nude form and back to me, one brow quirked up in a gesture that clearly said, “get real”. I laughed. “Yeah I guess.”

  That’s what we did. I focused on the curve of his hip leading to his thigh because he was a beautiful picture of masculinity. And because I never got a chance to see a man this delicious up close. A quick glance at Max’s canvas showed he focused on the bicep, and he did a pretty good job.

  The book club women were loud and boisterous, but they were having a good time and I envied that. Though I always felt a certain peace when I painted, I envied the good time they had together, laughing and drinking. So free and sure of their friendships. When class was over, I let out an exhausted breath and stood, stretching with my back facing the class.