Deliciously Damaged Read online

  That quick flash of fear told me I was right. “If you or your friends think you can threaten me, you all better think again. I don’t scare so easily, so think long and hard about your next move.”

  She stomped her foot like a five-year-old. “But this tourney is easy money. You’ll definitely place. Third place is fifty grand.”

  “No.” It was that simple. I had plenty of reasons that I didn’t want to do it, but none of them mattered. I wouldn’t step foot inside a casino to count cards unless the only other option was starvation, and that would never happen because any greasy spoon or chain restaurant in this city would be happy to have me.

  “If you don’t do this, there will be trouble. It’s not a threat,” she said, suddenly sounding terrified. “It’s a guarantee.”

  I took a step closer and glared at her. “Then you should have thought about that shit before you shot off your mouth to those thugs. Whatever you think you can do to make me do this, just know that I can do worse. And I will.”

  She looked worried, but I knew this wasn’t over. Krissy owed someone a lot of money and my guess was those thugs who accosted me the other day in the parking lot were part of that someone’s organization.

  They would be back, of that much I was certain.

  What they didn’t know was that I would be ready.

  Chapter 4

  Savior

  “What are you doing here, man?”

  Lasso’s smile was wide and friendly when I stepped into GET INK’D, his arms draped over two hot sorority girls.

  “Too many Bitches at the clubhouse, a man can’t even get a fucking drink in peace.”

  There were nearly a dozen lounging around in their tightest, lowest cut outfits to attract attention. The Reckless Bitches served their purpose but sometimes a man just needed to be.

  “What’s up around here?”

  His smile spread even wider if that was possible. “I’m going to give Katie and Becca tattoos. On their hipbones.” He emphasized the words, flashing me his best horndog grin over their heads. The man had as much charm as the state he came from, and the chicks ate that shit up. The sorority girls looked up at him like he couldn’t possibly be real. Too bad they’d be disappointed that he was only there for a few nights.

  “You here for ink?”

  “Nope, just here.” I was bored, restless and in search of something to do. Lasso disappeared with the sorority girls and I found Jag bent over a big ass biker who had ‘weekend warrior’ written all over him. He was big and bald, and had no visible tats, like someone who had a nine to five to go to every week. They were easy to spot, but they were good people, and most importantly, they kept guys like us, the real deal, flush with business. They came to us for tats, grass, ass and guns.

  “Hey Jag.”

  “Sup, Savior,” he said without looking up. His concentration had always been one of his most admirable traits. “Golden Boy is in with a customer, but she’s decent.”

  I nodded at the biker doing his best to look cool as I walked by. “Thanks man.” I hoped Golden Boy was able to get away for a few hours, maybe go for a ride to clear the fucking cobwebs from my head. I knocked and waited, feeling agitated and impatient.

  “Come in,” his gruff voice called, but it was less gruff now that he’d gone and fallen in love with a former model with a sharp tongue and long legs.

  I pushed the door open and the smile on my face died when I spotted Mandy sitting in his chair.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  I ignored the sharp look Golden Boy sent me, waiting for Mandy to answer.

  She stared up at me, her expression blank and emotionless.

  “I would think that’s obvious.” She turned back to him, dismissing me. “Privacy would be nice,” she said tersely.

  Golden Boy flashed an apologetic grin at me and pushed the door closed in my face.

  “Dammit!” I smacked the door, letting my anger get the better of me. Why the fuck was I so angry, anyway? Mandy was just my friend’s little sister and a chick I fucked. Once. I couldn’t let her get to me like this. Shit, I refused to. But I knew what was bothering me. Her anger and refusal to talk to me, combined with Cross’s words. She’s like family. Under our protection. Both of those things were true no matter how either of us felt about it, which made this the perfect chance to make her listen to my apology.

  Twenty minutes later, Golden Boy and Mandy exited the room, all smiles and laughter.

  “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it, Tate. But you can let Teddy know I did get the details. And not to worry that she didn’t hire me to do the cake. No way I could have transported a five-tier beauty down to San Diego.”

  “Yeah, well she felt bad after promising you the gig,” Tate said, flashing a warm smile that spoke of familiarity.

  “Listen, we’re good. She’s gonna love the pastry chef I recommended.”

  She rolled her eyes affectionately, like they had some kind of friendship I didn’t know about.

  “As long as you show up,” he warned,

  “I’ll do what I can, but my boss hates me so I can’t guarantee he’ll give me the time off. I need a tube of that ointment,” she pointed to the aftercare ointment on the shelf behind him, paid and waved him off like they were old friends. “Catch you later, Tate.” She walked right past me, exiting the shop without a glance, or even the fucking evil eye, aimed at me.

  I stood, feeling wound up. Anxious. Hell, I didn’t know, but I knew the source and I followed her out of the shop and caught up with her halfway up the block.

  “You’re avoiding me.”

  She didn’t answer and I took another step closer.

  “And now you’re ignoring me.”

  She sighed, frustrated and barely hanging on to her rage.

  “You are not a part of my life, Savior. I don’t need to avoid or ignore you because we’re nothing to each other. Two people who once fucked, that’s it. There’s no reason to pretend it was anything else, which means I don’t need you checking up on me.”

  “I’ve known you since you were a little girl, Mandy. That’s more than two people who once fucked,” I told her, throwing her words back at her.

  “No. You knew me, back when I was a kid. A lot of time and a lot of life has happened since then. You don’t know shit about me or my life.”

  The way she said it told me there was shit in her life. I asked myself, should I have known about it? I’d promised Ammo that me and the club would look after her when we could. My last tour with Ammo was my last tour before I left the Army, but I’d come home and gotten caught up in the club. “So, tell me.”

  She laughed and it was filled with bitterness and anger. “I don’t think so.”

  I leaned on her car, staring across the hood. “So, this is how it’s gonna be? You pretending we don’t know each other.”

  She shrugged. “It won’t be hard because we don’t know each other. Just forget we used to know each other, all right?”

  “I can’t.”

  “Try harder.” She yanked her door open and jumped inside, rolling her eyes.

  I stepped back when she started the engine, feeling even more frustrated than ever, and curious as hell about what had happened to her in the years since we’d known each other.

  Guilt was weighing me down as she disappeared from my view, so I hopped on my bike and rode until my hands tensed with pain. I still didn’t feel any fucking better.

  ***

  “You want to do what?” I couldn’t believe my ears. Max Ellison had called Church to discuss his fucking destination wedding. In California.

  “You heard me. Jana wants to get married at some fancy ass hotel in San Diego, so that’s what we’re doing. All of us. You got a problem with that?” His frown was fierce but I didn’t back down from a fight. Not even from one of my brothers.

  I was the first one to speak up. “You want to go out of town for a full goddamn week when someone is targeting our business?”
I was all for a man finding a woman he wanted to fuck forever but business was business. And right now, someone was fucking with businesses that belonged to the Reckless Bastards.

  “The old timers and the prospects will be here. But if that’s your biggest concern, stay here Savior.” The way he said it, like a threat, made my hackles rise but I kept my mouth shut because he was right. We were friends and brothers, and I wasn’t going to miss his wedding.

  “Fine, I’ll be there to watch you get hitched to the old ball and chain. Just make sure we’re covered.”

  “We’re covered,” Cross assured me and I knew he’d tell me more later.

  “The Bitches aren’t invited,” Max said, narrowing his gaze around the table to make sure everyone understood. They hadn’t made Jana feel very welcome and I didn’t blame her for keeping them away from her special day.

  Cross nodded again.

  Lasso smacked the table. “Woo-eee! San Diego has plenty of sweet ass to go around.” He grinned. “I’ll even bring a Stetson or two. Ladies love a cowboy.”

  Jag laughed and punched his arm. “They love those tight ass pants you wear, that’s all.”

  “Try it sometime, you might get some action from someone other than your hand.” Lasso laughed, cracking himself up.

  “All right, any new business?” Cross looked around the room, his expression serious as fuck. “No? Then we’re done.”

  Thank fuck. I was on my feet and walking away when Max caught up to me. “What’s your beef with Mandy?”

  “I have no beef with her, or anyone,” I said a little too innocently based on his skeptical expression.

  “Cut the shit. Tate said you acted like a real asshole to her at his shop. He also said she gave you the cold shoulder.”

  True. “Why is she even invited to your wedding?”

  “Not that I owe you an explanation, but Teddy likes her and so does Jana. They’re trying to become her friends so whatever your problem with her is, get over it. Or keep your distance.”

  “Fine,” I told him with a little more anger than I really felt and a whole lot more than he deserved. Then I walked away. Max was right. I had no excuse for my behavior. Hell, even I didn’t know what was wrong with me.

  Maybe I should just keep my distance.

  Chapter 5

  Mandy

  Another shift over and I felt pretty damn good. A few different tables had requested my presence to rave about my profiteroles with Irish cream and brandy infused chocolate. Landry hated it, called it elementary and derivative, which I admitted, it might be. But it was also a customer favorite and usually sold out before lunch was over. A well-known morning show duet who filmed live daily in Las Vegas raved about them on air last week and Landry had reluctantly agreed to let me make more. His sour mood couldn’t dampen mine, though, because it was nice to know someone out there appreciated the way I sweated my ass off in the Führer’s kitchen.

  My smile dimmed as I pushed back into the kitchen, breezing by Landry’s extra round midsection and heavy breathing like I didn’t notice it.

  “I hope you told them that your supposed genius was all under my instruction,” he barked.

  I said nothing in reply as I removed my apron, hat and chef’s coat, grabbed my shit and got the fuck out of Dodge. If I stayed another minute I might say — or do — something that would get me fired. Nothing could dampen my mood, not today. I pushed the door open and felt the hot desert sun beat down on my face.

  “That’s the shit,” I practically purred. You’d think I wouldn’t want to feel the sun after spending ten hours in a hot kitchen with nearly a dozen ovens going at once. But the fresh air and sunshine was just what I needed.

  Apparently, Krissy hadn’t gotten the message to stay away.

  “Get off my car,” I told her, my tone dark and threatening.

  Eyes wide, she pushed off, and crossed her arms. Doing her best to look tough.

  “Or what?”

  “Krissy, don’t fuck with me today.” She didn’t move quick enough and I invaded her space, close enough that I could smell the cigarette stink with every breath.

  “I’ll leave you alone, when you agree.”

  I laughed. Between her and Savior, I was all full up on people from my past coming back to haunt me. It made me reconsider the intelligence of moving back to this damn city.

  “I’ll never agree, Krissy. No matter what you and your thugs think you can do to scare me. I’ll just push back even harder.”

  Her thin lips curled into a sneer. “It would be a shame if your new employer found out about your past, somehow.”

  And now we’ve moved on to other threats. “Go right ahead and maybe I’ll talk to the casinos about your ruthless scams.” Her eyes grew wide because she knew they would ban her sorry ass before the sun set on the day.

  “You wouldn’t.”

  “Try me.” I stepped even closer so she had to lean back to gain some distance. “I’m not some scared, lonely teenager anymore, Krissy. Whatever you think you can do to me, just remember it goes both ways.”

  I pointed a finger at the center of her head. “If you can’t take a hint,” I applied just enough pressure to let this bitch know I meant business before pulling back. “I’ll be happy to make it easier to understand. Got it?”

  She nodded, her eyes filled with fear and uncertainty. I knew what it was about. Krissy was used to me like I used to be, scared, lonely and desperate for a connection. But she’d been the one to cure me of those useless emotions. In New York, I hardened my heart against the world, but it hadn’t been fully turned to stone until I got the visit at school from a man and a woman in Army dress uniforms telling me my last family member had been killed in action.

  Action. They said it like it was a fucking football game or a white water rafting adventure, not fucking war. So yeah, I wasn’t afraid. Of anything. Not anymore.

  “Just because I got it,” Krissy called as I backed away from her, “doesn’t mean they will.”

  “You can all give it your best shot,” I told her, not taking my eyes off her until her back was to me. I was pretty sure the guys from the parking lot were part of some type of gang, but no one bullied me. Not anymore.

  “Mandy!”

  I turned and gave her a cool stare, waiting for her next words.

  “If you don’t do this, I’m in deep shit.”

  “Then maybe you should have tried to talk to me instead of threatening me or sending your goons after me. Because honestly, I don’t give a shit about you or your problems.”

  I didn’t miss the tears shining in her eyes; they did nothing for me. I didn’t soften at the sight of tears, which were probably for show anyway. Her emotions, hell, most people’s emotions didn’t impact me at all these days, and that was just how I liked it.

  ***

  After burying Ammo something in me had died and I knew it — felt it — but I didn’t want to do anything about it. I’d isolated myself from everyone, and after the funeral and Savior, my transformation was complete. For a few brief minutes in the afterglow of spectacular sex, I felt a tiny bubble of relief. But his reaction had not only ruined the moment, his regret reminded me why I’d spent the past few years keeping my distance from the world. Aside from too brief and too infrequent talks to Ammo and obligatory outings with my classmates and professors in culinary school, I kept to myself.

  It was better that way. And I reminded myself of that fact as I took the short drive back to my apartment, staring at the bleak, square building where I lived. There was nothing wrong with it, aside from being old and ugly. It was affordable and that was what mattered. I was all about pinching pennies these days. The money from the sale of the house plus Ammo’s life insurance and death gratuity from the military was adding to my nice little nest egg that I would use to open my own restaurant one day. Or, based on the past few weeks, start a new life somewhere else.

  Savior was waiting for me after I emptied out my car and reached my apartment, leanin
g against the railing expectantly, but I walked right past him like I didn’t see him. I was in no mood for another confrontation. Not today. I entered my apartment and locked the door behind me, scanning the small room to see if anything had been disturbed. The truth was, Krissy and her friends had me a little paranoid. And after the shit that had gone down with Teddy a few weeks ago, I wasn’t taking my safety for granted. Luckily nothing had been disturbed this time, so I relaxed.

  Until a loud knock startled me out of my thoughts. I knew who it was and debated, for a least a moment, ignoring the knock. But Savior was a stubborn fucker and he wouldn’t go away, so I pulled the door open just enough to look at his handsome, arrogant face.

  “What?”

  He took a step forward but my grip tightened on the doorknob and I planted my foot firmly behind the door. If he wanted to, he could get in, but he’d have to use some force because I wouldn’t let him in. Not again.

  “Let me in, Mandy.”

  “No. Tell me what you want or go away. Those are your options.”

  We stared at each other for several long, tense moments before he let out a long, frustrated breath.

  “I just want to clear the air.”

  Of course he did. For some reason he was determined to hang onto some misguided sense of loyalty to my brother where I was concerned.

  “I don’t need any air cleared, Savior. You don’t owe me a damn thing.”

  “I disagree. Your brother—”

  “—is dead. He’s never coming back and you coming around here won’t change that fact. He was dead when you fucked me and regretted it, so again, don’t worry about me.”

  He stared at me like he didn’t recognize me, and why should he? He’d never known me as anything more than an energetic little girl completely enamored with her big brother.

  “I’m sorry,” he grunted out. “And if we could just talk —”

  “Apparently you have a hearing problem,” I told him, my voice hard and cold before I slammed the door in his face and locked it, letting out a long, shuddery breath. I needed time to myself, to decompress after what had started off as a pretty decent day. Until it was just about over.