Finn Read online

  We sped off into the night, but there was still a big part of me left behind.

  ****

  “I hope you’re not upset that I ruined the surprise,” Rafe said five minutes into our drive home.

  I glanced at him, trying to untangle my thoughts. I shook my head. “Not at all. Although I’m not sure I really need another car. I have my CR-V and we do all right.”

  Rafe laughed. “That’s not a proper car for my woman to drive.”

  A smile graced my lips. I liked when he called me his woman. It made me feel like we were a team.

  He looked over at me when we stopped at a red light. “I think it’s time we talk about the next step.”

  It was like a rubber band snapping. I was flung from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other with one sentence. “You—you do? Like what?”

  “I know you like working at the shelter, but I think you need to consider transitioning some of your team members into full-time roles so that you don’t have to always be there.”

  My nose wrinkled. “Why?”

  He shifted into gear as the light switched to green, bathing us in a soft glow. “It’s too demanding of your time. You need to have more time for these kinds of events. By the time spring gets here, there will be more of these events to go to, and it’s very stressful to be standing around waiting on you like I was earlier tonight. I’d rather you be at the house and be able to better organize your schedule.”

  I blinked a few times, wondering if I’d smacked my head and was seeing some sort of strange hallucination. “What?” I stammered.

  Rafe sighed and accelerated through the intersection. He raked a hand over his hair realizing a moment too late it was soaked with styling gel. He cursed under his breath and shot me a scowl, as though I’d been the one responsible for the gel on his sticky head. “You’re always dropping hints about wanting to move forward and get engaged. Well, I’m telling you that this is a necessary step if you want to go that direction. The woman I marry needs to be available for events like the one tonight, and working in that dingy shelter isn’t exactly the type of job people want to hear about. You saw the way Senator Jameson and his wife looked at you when you told them about it.”

  I was rendered completely and utterly speechless.

  I squeezed my eyes shut tight, trying to block out the screaming voices echoing in my head. “Stop the car!”

  “What?”

  “Stop. The. Car.” I ground out between clenched teeth. “Now!”

  “Alyssa, don’t be ridiculous. We’re ten minutes from home.”

  I grabbed the handle. “I’m not fucking around, Rafe. Pull over. I can’t be in this car with you for one more minute or I think I’ll explode!”

  Rafe scoffed and made a show of rolling his eyes but found the nearest curb and pulled up. We were in a residential area, a street where each side was lined with houses, cars parked in the driveways and the majority of the street. Rafe pulled up in front of a blue house with the porch light on and I flung my seatbelt off.

  “Where are you going to go?” he asked.

  “Like you care!” I snapped, shoving the door open.

  “Lyssa, I do care. Of course, I do.”

  I twisted back. “Then why are you being such a prick?”

  His jaw tensed. I’d never said out loud any of the things in my head before. My game plan was always to keep my head down and not to rock the boat. Safe, secure, stable, and constant. That was my happy place. But no more. I couldn’t do it for one more minute. At least not tonight. I needed air. Even if it was an Arctic blast.

  “When we met, you were impressed with my business mind and my drive. Now you’ve flipped the script and want to make it seem like it’s some hindrance to this cushy little dream life you’ve envisioned for yourself. Well what about me? Have you ever stopped to ask what I want?”

  “Who was the one standing beside you at the ribbon cutting ceremony at the shelter? Who gave you the donation that pushed you over the top to help get the damn thing built in the first place? Obviously, I care about what makes you happy, Alyssa. But if you want to get married, we need to set some boundaries and one of the things I won’t accept is lateness and it seems that since you started the shelter it’s a struggle. All I was doing was making a suggestion—”

  “Bullshit, Rafe!” I shoved myself out of the car and leaned back in. “You’re trying to order me around like one of your mentors or interns. Here’s a newsflash, I had a successful business before I met you and when we got together, it was never in the deal that I would be willing to give that up. So it’s not me who needs to make choices here. If you want me available for these mind-numbingly boring events, then you need to ask me respectfully, treat me nicely, and you know what else?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “You need to tell that Nancy Jameson to back the fuck off with her gluten-free bullshit! She’s just jealous of my ass!”

  Rafe gave me a baffled look but I slammed the door without explanation.

  I tended to ramble when I got upset.

  In truth, Nancy Jameson’s not-so-subtle dig at my weight wasn’t the real issue. Sure, she was a royal bitch, but I knew that wasn’t what had me on the verge of tears for the third time that evening.

  I took a few steps backward and planted myself on the sidewalk. It was coated with a glisten of frost but wasn’t slippery. Rafe waited a few minutes, silently giving me space to change my mind and climb back in the car, but then he finally pulled away from the curb and drove down the street.

  “Asshole.”

  Chapter Five

  Finn

  “All right, you wanna explain?”

  I turned at Miles’s question. “Explain what?”

  He flashed a half-cocked grin. “Who is she?”

  “Who is who?”

  He chuckled and clapped me on the shoulder. “Come on, Clarke. Give me some credit. You know that woman. Alyssa Archer. It’s written all over your face. You couldn’t stop staring at her all night and PS, I think that was a Guinness World Record long handshake you gave her.”

  Shit.

  I shrugged into my leather riding jacket as Miles retrieved our helmets from the woman at the coat check counter. She was a pretty, young thing that kept flashing flirtatious smiles at Miles. She’d either missed or was actively ignoring the wedding band on his finger. He handed me my helmet, pulled a bill from his wallet and slipped it into the tip jar. “Thanks,” he told the girl.

  I doubt he even noticed she was eye-fucking him the whole time.

  We went outside and started off to the side of the building where our motorcycles were parked wedged together into one standard parking space. Some would call us crazy for riding our bikes through the city in the dead of winter, but Miles and I were cut from a similar cloth.

  Miles slung over his bike and put his helmet on, leaving the visor up. “You’re really not going to tell me?”

  I sighed and straddled my own bike. I tugged my riding gloves from my jacket pocket and slipped them on. “We dated…but it was a long time ago.”

  Miles grinned like a madman. “And let me guess, you didn’t know she was dating someone new?”

  “I don’t know anything about her. Not anymore.”

  “Damn, man. And she’s not just with someone. She’s with motherfuckin’ Rafe Wade. You know he tops the 30 under 30 list here in Atlanta?”

  “Fun fact,” I quipped, getting grumpier by the moment.

  Miles didn’t mean anything by it. He had no way of knowing just how deeply my wounds went when it came to Alyssa. I never talked about that shit with him.

  “You could take him,” Miles said, giving another wide grin.

  “Not planning on it.”

  His smile faded and he pulled on his own gloves. “Damn, man. She must have really done a number on you. You’re no fun like this.”

  I shook my head. “Sorry, man. I don’t mean to be—”

  Miles held up a hand. “Dude, it’s fine. Y
ou get home safe, all right? I’ll see you Monday?”

  “Sure thing. Tell Penny hi for me, will ya?”

  He nodded and revved his engine. His wicked grin returned and he surged forward, slapping his visor down as he began weaving through the deadlocked cars as everyone tried to exit the parking lot at once.

  I glanced up at the full, winter moon and sighed, watching my breath turn to a puff of vapor before my eyes. “Damn.”

  ****

  The night was cold as shit, but at least the roads were clear. I zoomed through the sleepy neighborhoods on my way to the freeway. The streets were quiet. Everyone must have been inside, keeping warm and safe. As I turned a corner, I spotted a figure ahead. As they passed under the street light, I realized it was a woman. She was wearing a long dress and coat and was rubbing her hands together probably trying to warm them up. Recognition hit me like a lightning bolt and I hit the brakes fast enough that my wheels skidded over the pavement. The sound made her jump and Alyssa whirled around, her face fully bathed in the soft yellow glow.

  God, she was beautiful. Stunning. Hot as hell. Even with the look of terror on her face.

  There was something else there too, a sharp, jagged edge. I should’ve kept going. She didn’t know it was me. I could just leave her here.

  Before I talked myself out of being douchebag of the year, I pulled up at the curb and flicked my visor open to reveal my face. Alyssa stopped walking, almost so abruptly that she jerked backward. “Finn?”

  As she got closer, I could tell her cheeks were tinged with pink and her lips trembled. She was shivering. I killed the engine and hopped off the bike. “What the hell are you doing out here? It’s fucking freezing.”

  “Ta—taking a walk.”

  I glanced around the neighborhood. “Do you live around here? Where’s your man? It’s damn near freezing out here.”

  I didn’t wait for answers. I tugged off my leather jacket and handed it to her.

  She stared at the extended jacket and then her eyes flew to mine.

  I wiggled it impatiently. “Put it on.”

  With a sigh, she took the jacket and wrapped it over her shoulders. Her hands were gloved but they were the thin, lady kind that couldn’t possibly be providing any warmth. I tore my gloves off and handed them to her as well.

  “Finn, stop,” she said, shaking her head. Her voice was thick and set my nerves on edge. “What are you doing here?”

  “Going home. What are you doing here?” I looked around the quiet streets again. “You live close by?”

  She paused, chewing on her lower lip for a moment. With a shake of her head she confessed, “No. I live downtown.”

  My eyebrows arched. “And you’re planning on walking there? Fuck, Lyss. What are you thinking? Where’s that asshat of a boyfriend? Shouldn’t he be out here taking care of you.”

  Anger sparked in her eyes and she shoved the gloves back over to me, refusing to put them on. “I didn’t ask you to take care of me.” She started peeling the jacket off.

  “Stop it,” I snapped, forcing the gloves into her hands. “Put them on. You’re shivering.”

  I tore my helmet off and handed it to her once she reluctantly slipped into the gloves. They were enormous on her hands and a pang of something dark twisted in my gut. Images of her wearing my t-shirts, gym shorts, and on one particularly sexy night, wearing my boxer briefs—and nothing else—around the house. Damn it. I raked my hand through my hair and pushed the helmet at her again. “Come on. You’re coming with me.”

  She all but stamped her foot. “No. I’m not.”

  “Well you’re sure as hell not walking from here to downtown.”

  “You’re going to stop me?”

  “Alyssa, so help me…” I growled. “I will pick you up and put you on the bike.”

  She frowned and the breath caught in my lungs. Those damn lips could do me in every time. Fuck.

  “Please, Lyss. I can’t drive off knowing you’re out here, shivering and miserable.”

  “Who said I’m miserable?”

  I leveled her with a firm stare. “Happy women don’t walk home in the middle of winter.”

  Her eyes dropped to the sidewalk. I’d hit the target. A surge of anger rose within me. I’d tear the bastard limb from limb. What the hell was she doing with a guy like that?

  “We had a rough night,” she finally admitted, her voice whisper soft.

  “You don’t have to tell me anything,” I said, scrambling back from the intimacy in her tone. “But please, let me get you somewhere warm and safe. All right?”

  She lifted her heavily-lidded eyes and my heart damn near stopped beating. Finally, she nodded. “Okay.”

  “Thank you.”

  She took the helmet. “What are you going to wear?”

  “I’ll be fine,” I said. ‘I’d rather my head get splattered on the sidewalk that yours.” Alyssa frowned and I could feel another argument rising from her. “Just put it on. I’ll be careful. There’s no ice out here.”

  She tucked the large helmet under her arm and reached up with her free hand to the little knot on the back of her head. A few tugs—and curses—later, and her hair came tumbling down around her shoulders. She gave it a shake, with her eyes closed, like the ladies on the shampoo commercials, and I damn near stopped breathing. My mind threw me back in time, my hand wound through her hair, tugging her face to mine to steal a kiss. My hands lost in her hair as she knelt beside me, those pillow lips wrapped around my cock. Her hair splayed out on the pillow beside me every morning.

  Alyssa put the helmet on but fumbled in my too-large gloves to latch the safety strap under her chin. Everything inside me fought against the urge to help her. The handshake—as simple as it was—had damn near done me in. I couldn’t touch her again. I’d be harder than a rock and I wouldn’t want to stop myself.

  “Can you—” She paused and tried once more to get the latch.

  I drew in a silent breath and then stepped forward. I reached for the buckle and brushed her chin. Her skin was silky soft, just the way I remembered. My fingers were achingly close to her mouth. Her eyes were locked with mine and I wondered if she was as hyper aware of every move as I was. It was like being in the middle of an adrenaline rush. In battle, there came a point where you were flooded with so much adrenaline that every sense was on high alert. You could smell everything, hear everything, every beat of your heart, and time moved in slow motion and fast forward, somehow simultaneously.

  The buckle clicked into place and I jumped back. “All set?”

  She nodded as she slipped her arms into the jacket. “You’re sure you’re not going to freeze?”

  I chuckled. “I’m sure. You might not remember, but I’m pretty tough.”

  We stared at each other for a long moment. Finally, she cracked a smile—the first one I’d seen on her all night—and said, “Pretty tough-headed.”

  “Aha. You’ve got jokes, huh?”

  She shrugged a shoulder, still smiling.

  I ran my hand through my hair. “The jacket looks good on you.”

  She glanced down at herself. It was quite the sight, the beat-up bomber jacket with her expensive looking gown and heels. She smiled anyways. “Thanks.”

  “Where do you want me to take you?”

  Confusion crossed her face and her eyes flew back to mine. “I—I don’t really know.”

  Another piece of the puzzle fell into place. They lived together. That was the only explanation for why she didn’t want to go home. Damn it. It shouldn’t have bothered me, but it did. It burned me under my skin.

  “Tell you what,” I said, moving to get on the bike. “I saw a little cafe down the street. Their open sign was still on. Let’s go get a cup of coffee. I sure as hell could use one after all that rich people food.”

  She laughed. The sound washed over me like a wave, sucking me under in a rush.

  “Come on. Whaddaya say?”

  Her smile flickered a little but then she nodde
d. “Okay.”

  I grinned. “All right.”

  “One problem though,” she said, eying the bike. “I haven’t ridden one of these in a long time and I’ve never attempted it in Alexander McQueen.”

  “Alex who?”

  She giggled again. “Nevermind.”

  I threw my leg over the bike and then reached for her hand. “It’s just like riding a bike.”

  Alyssa rolled those big, beautiful eyes while she smiled. “You’re cheesy.”

  “Maybe, but it sure as hell is worth it to see you smile.”

  My words suspended us back in a bubble, dangling somewhere between the past and the present. She took my hand and electricity sparked up my arm. Damn, this is going to be one hell of a night.

  Chapter Six

  Alyssa

  What am I doing?

  The cold air whipped past us on Finn’s bike. He assured me the cafe wasn’t far, but the minutes ticked by with an endless feeling. Mostly because I couldn’t get comfortable straddled on the powerful motorcycle, my legs wrapped around Finn’s hips, my thighs pressed into his, and a ridiculous amount of vibrations going straight between my legs which made reminiscing of the past a hell of a lot harder to ignore.

  I should be furious with him. Indignant at best. I didn’t want to see him or talk to him, let alone be on the back of his bike speeding through the night.

  But there I was, my arms looped around his waist, trying to ignore the way his button up shirt was pressed tight against his torso from the force of the wind. And I certainly didn’t notice that his abs were just as ripped as they’d been all those years ago. Nope. Definitely not.

  Ugh, get it together Lyss. Remember what he did to you? Why are you pretending that he didn’t send a torpedo through your heart?

  No answers came to me, only more questions.

  Finn took a turn and I gasped and grabbed onto him a little tighter. His stomach rumbled as he chuckled. I scowled at the back of his head. My stomach flipped, thinking about how he’d insisted on giving me his helmet. He also hadn’t taken back his coat or gloves.

  “You could warn a girl,” I yelled over the sound of the wind.